Following several “fare-thee-well” dinners with friends over the past few days, I have been informed that I am being remiss not to start documenting our adventure IN China with the glories (read: excruciating pains) of actually getting ourselves TO China.
Very well. Our move thus far can be broken down, I believe, into the 5 stages of grief:
Stage 1: Denial – “China won’t be THAT different”
Thinking about moving to China, a culture and a geography that is so foreign and unknown to both of us, is somewhat akin to trying to paint wind. The tools simply do not exist. There are, as of right now, no familiar touch-points or landmarks we can use to guide our expectations or understand of what daily life will really be like in 2 weeks. Therefore – and for those who know Hannah well, this will come as no surprise – we began March with the calm, cool and collected certainty that nothing would really be changing.
Of course, by March 2nd, we realized that “nothing” actually means “everything from your food to your socks.” How disruptive.
Stage 2: Anger – “No, GoldenEye cannot come. Yes, my shoes can.”
Anyone who has every packed more than 2 apartments in the span of 2 years or less will tell you the same thing. Don’t do it; it is not fun, it is not healthy, and it is not enjoyable for anyone within a 5 block radius of you. One reason for this unpleasantness is that inevitably you and your significant other will have differing ideas about the importance of certain objects, and the necessity of bringing said objects with you to foreign lands. For us, this can be summed up by the following scene:
Hannah: “John, who is going to take all your video games”
John: “Um – why wouldn’t we take them?!”
Hannah: “Because we are supposed to only take the necessities to China. The things we can carry that we absolutely cannot live without for the next two years.”
John: “…..what is your point?”
Hannah: “We do not NEED video games”
John: “Well you don’t NEED all those shoes, but you get to bring those…what is the difference?”
Hannah: “Right. Same thing. Go away please.”
Stage 3: Bargaining – “I will give you $1 MILLION if you will be my friend.”
One of the most overwhelming and nerve-wracking parts of our imminent move to Shanghai is the departure from our family and friends-who-have-become-our-family; those go-to people whom we share wine-nights, wing-nights, game-nights and movie-nights with on a weekly (if not daily) basis.
How to make friends in China (definitely the title of a book at some point) is a scary thought, and we’ve discussed several ways of going about this:
Option 1: Dive into Alumni Clubs and Expat Associations
Option 2: Get involved with volunteer organizations, such as Amnesty Intern’l
Option 3: Go to the bar, tap someone politely on the shoulder and offer them a case of wine if they will have dinner with us every night for 5 days straight.
If you don’t know how that story ends, this blog may not be for you.
Stage 4: Depression – “What do you mean we won’t get Cubs games?”
In addition to leaving our friends, another shock is sure to be the absence of certain familiar traditions: the bleachers at Wrigley Field on a sunny day, a marathon of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Top Chef the following day…these are the things that will make this trip, and the distance from “home,” that much more real for us. Jet lag is one thing, but the real measure of distance will be watching March Madness at 2am on a Sunday.
Stage 5: Acceptance – “We are going to have the time of our lives!”
Without a doubt, John and I are more excited for this step in our lives than anything either of have ever experience, both apart and together. Through all the trials and tribulations, the denial through the depression, we have the clarity and conviction that the next 24 months will change the next 50 years of our lives, making us stronger, wiser, and certainly more humorous, than we possibly could have been without it.
Granted there have been other highs and lows in our preparation time - including losing both a treasured pet, and a seemingly confirmed apartment - but we stand ready to accept everything that comes our way, and hopefully be diligent about sharing it in turn with all of you!
And so we'll leave you with a favorite quote, to be our mantra for the next few years.
As for the future, your task is not to foresee it, but to enable it.
- Antoine De Saint-Exupery.
We're in awe of the accomplishments that have led each of you to this extraordinary adventure, including Hannah pursuing her MBA at Hult. Also amazed at your composure and stamina during all the preparations. We'll miss the Windy City road trips, Grand Haven beach bashes, and Motown sessions for a couple years, but we'll look forward to the visits in between and especially look forward to hearing about your experiences. Good on ya'. Talk soon. All our love.
ReplyDelete